Betrayal.

How can people live when they know they are fooling themselves? They try to fit in and collects and sellects and mess up a silent life. Even if there's trust that merely have existed because now, I don't think I have trust at all.

I don't know what she is trying to do. It's like a back stab only it didn't hurt that much, but, the fact that you know who stabbed you and that you've trusted her for a long time doesn't really make sense. She bursted out of the blue, pretending that everything is fine while the truth is, everything is not fine. Nothing is fine. I don't know if I'll do the same like Noemi did to Annie or what Brooke did to Peyton but this is just not television, this is reality.

I promised myself, I won't let something that shallow bury me deep. I won't let a guy ruin a friendship but, I just can't help it. It is somewhat stupid to think that I am doing this, that I am risking a friendship, that I am sacrificing what is more worth it.

I wish I can't go mad. I wish I could understand what she is doing and what they are up to. I wish that I was the numb girl. I wish I didn't see it.

But, I can't. I can't do my wishes. I swear, I like to but I CAN'T.

And now, even though it's really complicated, I try not thinking of it because I know there's nothing that I can benefit from it and maybe forget that that even happen.

Erase all gossips. Erase all drama. Erase all anxiousness.

And just keep the pain.