Betrayal.

How can people live when they know they are fooling themselves? They try to fit in and collects and sellects and mess up a silent life. Even if there's trust that merely have existed because now, I don't think I have trust at all.

I don't know what she is trying to do. It's like a back stab only it didn't hurt that much, but, the fact that you know who stabbed you and that you've trusted her for a long time doesn't really make sense. She bursted out of the blue, pretending that everything is fine while the truth is, everything is not fine. Nothing is fine. I don't know if I'll do the same like Noemi did to Annie or what Brooke did to Peyton but this is just not television, this is reality.

I promised myself, I won't let something that shallow bury me deep. I won't let a guy ruin a friendship but, I just can't help it. It is somewhat stupid to think that I am doing this, that I am risking a friendship, that I am sacrificing what is more worth it.

I wish I can't go mad. I wish I could understand what she is doing and what they are up to. I wish that I was the numb girl. I wish I didn't see it.

But, I can't. I can't do my wishes. I swear, I like to but I CAN'T.

And now, even though it's really complicated, I try not thinking of it because I know there's nothing that I can benefit from it and maybe forget that that even happen.

Erase all gossips. Erase all drama. Erase all anxiousness.

And just keep the pain.

The Right or The Love?

I don't have the right to be mad at those things

Even if it makes me want to explode

Because this is such an immature thing

To make my tears burst

Don't let a shallow cut bring you to death

It's never the way it was supposed to be

Don't let a fall give up your hope of standing up

Because you might not know, it's the only chance

How could I ever be awake when I'm asleep?

I feel so stupid to cry on those simple things

I don't give importance to it when I had my mind

And now, it's flying up, up and away and I don't know why

I'd never experienced to feel such an idiot

Because I was smarter before

And now I spend my time here writing

Because I know this is the only way to let go

*ang drama ko naman. T_T. Nakakainis. X(

I actually felt how it is to be in her (the other girl) place before. How it hurted her because she was a good friend. I don't disagree with everything the two of them have, but knowing she is my friend and that I trust her very much, I was mislead and the view I used to look up on her suddenly went down. So down, I can't see.

Over My Head

Maybe that's it, you don't want to move on because you don't want to forget, fearing that when you forget it and there comes a point in time that it will come back, you are not already ready to welcome it back.

Linger

Wala kasi akong karapatang magalit kahit punung-puno na ako. Kaya manahimik ka na lang dyan sa tabi. Dadating si KARMA.

>.<

If you could return

Don't let it burn, don't let it fade

I'm sure I'm not being rude

But it's just your attitude

It's tearing me apart

It's ruining everything

I swore I would be true

So why you were holding her hand?

Is that the way we stand

We're you lying all the time

Was it just a game to you?

How many years would I have to wait to put into reality the visions I wanted in my life? Would you be a part of it? How come that I see the future in you but not with someone else?

Maybe this day was so stressing because I am afraid that everything that happened when I was in my Level 7 days will happen again. SHE will do it, again and I can feel it.

Whenever I think about this during my Geometry test, I accidentally added 6x-4x is equal to 10 x.

It was very disturbing.

When will she realize that what she did to her past friend was still hurting her friend inside knowing that there is something between them? Feelings can change and she can too...

But...

DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGER?

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words."

It seems that Friday the 13th is on effect today. Everything that seems to fall into place went bizzare and annoying. I was the prayer leader for the day and the only thing I could tell is that, I sucked a lot today.

It was card distribution and it was really disappointing (But not as disappointing as my day was yesterday). I have expected that to happen and I don't feel anything bad at all. Besides, the only thing that made me diappointed and somewhat tricked is the way my classmates think of it as a big deal.

"I tried not to cry when Justine did."

It's the first time in my life that I have 5, line of 8 grades and one 85. But even though I should really get going or maybe plead infront of the bulletin board containing the list to change and jumble the names, I don't feeling anything bad at all because I've expected and regret earlier that I haven't done the best that I can during the exams. So, big lost for me.

As for the day today, Social Studies made me laugh but the afternoons was gloomy, only seeing my friend beside the black-jacket-was-gone guy.

The black-jacket-was-gone guy is not talking to me anymore and I feel like I have done something that made him do the things he is doing now. He's not the person I've known before.

And now I am stressing about it.