Silent Conversations

"We talked. He looked. I looked down then nothing."

It was the last day of fair. The morning was very nice. I saw him walking in our corridor thinking maybe he would like to see me because of our deal. Anyway, it's Valentines Day! Today is my turn to be a scare giver on our very messy horror booth. Yeah. We started our make-up session at around 8:00 am. The booth started at 8:30. As usual, there are bastards who makes themselves "Super Yabang!" by saying "Hi!" to the ghost. Sharmaine made it funnier because children tend to get her phone number and was flirting with her! Yeah. Stupid, right? It ran so fast. I am a scare giver then a voice over. We had our break at 10:30 and when I went outside, I saw Kuya Jami! Wee! He was requesting if he could go inside:

"Nah! Go back at 10:30!. I don't have my voice anymore!"
"Oh. Is that you, Shina?! Haha! How are you?!"

(He didn't recognized me because my face was spoiled with FAKE blood.) Teehee.

It was the middle of the break then I saw him. He was searching or maybe planning to do the deal. He walked approach me because he saw me staring from afar.
He bend his spine over and talked:

"What's with your face?"

(As I say. It is the FAKE blood!)
"Oh. Fake blood. Are you gonna attend the closing ceremony?"
"Is there?"

I know he was trying to make the conversation long but I can't. I am just too tired.

"Yeah Maybe. Can you go back later? We are having a break."
"Sure. Bye!"
"Bye"

He didn't come back. :'(

And that ended the conversation.

I was so GUILTY! Why did I act like that? Oh gosh. It was a ten-year old conversation!

Inside, I was screaming! Finally! After all the months we haven't spoken in person (since the incident), we did and I was so regretful having myself talk to him like that. He was open. I was not. I am so SORRY.

The afternoons was great even though the depression is still going on. (By the way, we were wearing black shirts to signify the singles awareness day! Teehee!). We (Owie, Marianne, Audrey and Joyce) went to Robinson but before that, we cleaned up SC105 or the one we used for our booth. It was fun getting all the wires crumple down.

Sir gave us roses which is very sweet! Joyce gave me a Fererro Rocher chocolate which I think is so good! It made my day but knowing he didn't made the deal made me so upset.

The "in the groove" in Timezone didn't make up my emotions. It is still staggered. Even the window shopping with my non- biological sister, Owie didn't made me feel any happier. I was so disappointed.

Before going to Robinson, Owie have to leave Jek, her brother to the Sentrum because her parents would be fetching him. We (The others) went to BG building to see that if the Chain booth is still open and that's where he is and....

IT IS NOT :'(

"What a Valentine? You call this happy?! Well, I am not. :'("

The atmosphere in the house made me feel worse and now all I was thinking is:

"When can ever Valentines have a meaning in my life?"